I need to get laid
I need to be fucked back into my senses BAD
But I can’t get laid cause I can’t feel an attraction to someone who I don’t have feelings for and I don’t have time for feelings
The story behind lobsters
is that they weren’t thought of as cuisine
until the 19th century. Before that
they were considered peasant food,
and most often served in prisons.
The story behind diamonds
is that they were just rocks until 1938
when there was a marketing campaign
that forever linked them with love.
The story about you is that you thought
I was so much more than I was.
The story behind art
is that it’s never a masterpiece
until it’s already been sold.
Once it already belongs to someone else.
The story behind us
is that once you finally had me, you had
no idea what I was worth.
Where did you get those big eyes?
And where did you get those lips?
And the loneliness?
And that broken heart?
And the absence, where did you get that?
He says ‘I don’t get it, why are you still a virgin at 24?’
He says ‘I don’t believe you, I’ve seen you walk, virgins don’t walk like that’
He says, ‘That ain’t natural, people are supposed to fuck.’
He asks ‘Why though? No offence though.’
I ask ‘When was your first time?’
He says ‘I was 12’
He says ‘I know what you’re thinking, that’s too young.’
I look at his knuckles, he has two good hands.
He says ‘She was older than me.’
I ask ‘How old?’
And he says ‘It’s better that the girl is older, that’s how I learnt all things I know’
He licks his lips.
I ask again ‘How old?’
He says ‘I could use one finger to make you sob’
I think of my brother in prison and I can’t remember his face.
I ask again ‘How old?’
He says ‘Boys become men in the laps of women, you know?’
I think of my mothers faced lined with her bad choices in men.
He says ‘If you were mine you wouldn’t get away with this shit, I’d eat you for hours, I’d gut you like fruit.’
I think of my cousins circumcision, how she feels like a mermaid, not human from the waist down.
He says ‘I’d look after you, you know?’
I laugh, I ask for the last time ‘How old?’
He says ‘34.’
He says ‘She was beautiful though and I know what you’re thinking but it’s not like that, I’m a man, I’m a man, I’m a man. No one could ever hurt me’."
I have been biology and math courses for 3 months now, since I graduated with REALLY low points in those and I am taking this exam thingy which is really important on the first of September
Biology has been going alright, really good, I already have way more knowledge than last year BUT MATH
BASIC MATH IS KILLING ME
I NEED IT SO BAD TO GO WHETE I WANT BUT I CANT DO BASIC SIMPLE MATH
I wanna cry all the time